Bollocks Story #1
There was this cat -- a ginger one of smaller-than-average size -- that went by the name of Horatio that was very good indeed in the mathematical discipline of calculus*.
During the mid 90's, this cat went on a U.K. tour, playing mainly at provincial theatres, doing these extraordinarily complex equations on stage, as a kind of performance art. The audiences started off poor, but slowly built to a respectable size; the profits started to mount and things began to look quite good indeed. In 1998, he appeared on two late-night television shows (both on Channel 4).
In the spring of 1999 he was offered a book deal and teamed up with a ghost writer who had previously written a number of celebrity 'autobiographies', mainly for Premiership footballers. The book, Horatio decided, would be called "The Sum of All Things".
Unfortunately, soon after work began on the book, Horatio developed a rare infection of the paws and died. His book was never completed and his story has, until now, never been told.
*Horatio never wrote anything down owing to the fact that he had no opposable thumbs. Thankfully though he was fluent in English, speaking with what some thought was an accent from the Swindon area, although the cat was born and raised in the Wirral.
During the mid 90's, this cat went on a U.K. tour, playing mainly at provincial theatres, doing these extraordinarily complex equations on stage, as a kind of performance art. The audiences started off poor, but slowly built to a respectable size; the profits started to mount and things began to look quite good indeed. In 1998, he appeared on two late-night television shows (both on Channel 4).
In the spring of 1999 he was offered a book deal and teamed up with a ghost writer who had previously written a number of celebrity 'autobiographies', mainly for Premiership footballers. The book, Horatio decided, would be called "The Sum of All Things".
Unfortunately, soon after work began on the book, Horatio developed a rare infection of the paws and died. His book was never completed and his story has, until now, never been told.
*Horatio never wrote anything down owing to the fact that he had no opposable thumbs. Thankfully though he was fluent in English, speaking with what some thought was an accent from the Swindon area, although the cat was born and raised in the Wirral.
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